


“I can’t sleep, can I stay here?”

by ImagineRedwood



Category: Sons of Anarchy
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Matricide, Murder, season 7 Jax
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-14
Updated: 2018-12-14
Packaged: 2019-09-17 22:59:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16983426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImagineRedwood/pseuds/ImagineRedwood
Summary: Drabble from sentence prompt list, “I can’t sleep, can I stay here?”





	“I can’t sleep, can I stay here?”

A sharp knock on your front door woke you up out of your sleep. You sat up quickly, looking over at your alarm clock which read 12:37 am. It wasn’t the latest time that someone had been knocking on your door but considering how bad things had gotten with the club lately, it didn’t make you feel any better. You quickly stood from the bed and pulled on your shorts before grabbing your gun off the nightstand. You hadn’t heard a bike so you weren’t sure who you would find standing at your door. Gun in hand, you quietly made your way out of the bedroom and into the living room, another knock sounding. You kept the gun aimed down as you walked up to the door, looking through the peephole to see who was there. Your confusion skyrocketed as you saw Jax standing there on the opposite side.

Without hesitation, you unlocked the door and pulled it open staring at him.

“Is everything ok?”

It was a question you had asked many times before, to many different Sons. It was a question that was usually met with a smile, no matter how fake and responded with the usual, ‘everything’s fine.’ Jax gave you neither of those though and simply shuddered out a breath.

“No.”

Jax was always the one to keep his cool, always pretend everything was fine, even when it clearly wasn’t. He’d rather die than to admit that something had gone wrong and that he was helpless. Tonight was full of surprises.

**_“I can’t sleep, can I stay here?”_ **

Of course, you nodded, stepping aside and letting him walk into your home. He didn’t have a bag with him and you curiously looked outside for his bike. Instead, you saw he was driving Gemma’s escalade. You closed the door behind him and locked both locks before turning to find him standing in the middle of the kitchen. His shoulders were rigid, his whole body so tense it looked as if he’d crumble should you touch him. You walked up to him slowly, reaching out to gently touch his hand. He let you, opening his fist and grabbing a couple of your fingers inside of it, just to feel you there. You stepped closer and reached out with your other hand, placing it on his cheek. The ghost of a smile showed on his lips, his head tilting more into your touch.

You stood there squeezing his hand and holding his face, trying to figure out what had happened. You gave him his time though, softly running your thumb along the side of his cheek.  His eyes closed and he knitted his eyebrows together harshly, pure pain written across his face as he leaned further into your hand, as if he wanted to melt into you. The anguish was pouring from him and you couldn’t help but wrap your hand around his neck, pulling him down to you which he quickly followed. He leaned down towards you, laying his head on your shoulder as sobs wracked his body. Both of his arms came to wrap around you, his grip locked around your waist and pulling you flush against him as he cried. Even with his large frame, his muscles making him larger than you, he looked and felt so small. The cries that came from him were raw, all deep gasps and howls, a cough thrown in every now and then from when he choked on his own tears. He was broken and you held him to you tightly, wishing you could take away the pain he was feeling.

“Come, Jax. Come sit.”

He allowed you to pull him towards the couch, his body in a trance. You sat down first, pulling him towards you to lay his head across your lap. His cries had subsided some, the sobbing gone and now replaced with silent tears rolling down his face. You ran your fingers through his hair as he lay on you, much like you had a couple times in the past. Ever since Tara had been killed, he’s spend random nights at your house when his thoughts got too loud and the loneliness overwhelmed him. Tonight though was so very similar and yet nothing like the others. He relaxed into your lap and grabbed one of your hands in his, playing with your fingers.

“I did it.”

It took you a couple of seconds to register what he said, racking your brain for what he was talking about.

“I killed my mom.”

There was a silence that came over the house, him still toying with your ring finger.

“I killed Unser too. He was there. I guess he found out about Gemma killing Tara too. He knew what I would do, so he went there. I guess to protect her. I gave him the chance to leave. He didn’t take it.”

You stayed quiet, trying to swallow the news you had just been given. Jax had hinted around to it recently, apparently Abel having sparked the suspicion. You had heard him as he spoke in his parables, about what would happen when he found out who really killed Tara. He’d told you that Juice had admitted it was Gemma. You just never thought he would have it in him to kill his own mother. He had become a different man though. The Jax that you’d come to know some years ago wasn’t the man that he’d been recently and it certainly wasn’t the man laying in your lap now. You still loved him all the same though. You always had. From the days where he’d broken up with Wendy, to when he married Tara and then lost her. You’d loved him all along the way and today was no different. So with a shaky breath, you patted his shoulder signaling him to get up. He sat up from your lap, wiping at his eyes with his fingers before looking at you and you got off the sofa and sat down in front on him. You took hold of his blood-spattered AF-1’s and pulled them from his feet, taking his socks off as well. You tucked the socks into the sneakers and set them to the side, looking up at him.

“Just throw them away.”

You nodded softly and were about to stand up when he placed his hand over yours.

“I love you.”

You smiled softly and grabbed his hand, kissing his knuckles.

“I love you too Jackson.”

With that, you stood and pointed over to the bathroom.

“Go take a shower. I’ll have some tea ready for you when you come out.”

Jax nodded and turned, making his way over to your bathroom as instructed as you walked over to the trashcan to throw in his shoes. Him telling you he loved you wasn’t anything new, he said it all the time. However, you weren’t sure if the way he said it was meant the way you said it. But as long as you got to keep him in your life, that was ok.


End file.
